I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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