like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
