I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
