told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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