do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
either way he was missing a nipple.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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