I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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