dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
