i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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