i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Im part way to drunk.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
