now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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