My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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