Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
