the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
