Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
