Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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