guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
