This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
