he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
