so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
