I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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