I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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