it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
