I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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