I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
