I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
