She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
