Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
