Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
