i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
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