Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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