A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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