Texts From Last Night

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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.

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  (270): If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit. http://tfl.nu/gpdl
  Replies (100) Good night (1130) Bad night (2781)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period

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  (302): some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period http://tfl.nu/2c6q
  Replies (33) Good night (2559) Bad night (1149)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...

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  (630): I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today... http://tfl.nu/hrqr
  Replies (22) Good night (2900) Bad night (543)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him

  (1-281): View more from Texas

  college has opened so many doors for you

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  (281): Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him (1-281): college has opened so many doors for you http://tfl.nu/e6am
  Replies (44) Good night (4512) Bad night (860)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.

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  (281): i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night. http://tfl.nu/0cve
  Replies (71) Good night (1521) Bad night (6282)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.

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  (305): He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys. http://tfl.nu/g37d
  Replies (310) Good night (11315) Bad night (5658)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.

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  (708): He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed. http://tfl.nu/ytov
  Replies (15) Good night (4989) Bad night (1010)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality

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  (616): you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality http://tfl.nu/e7iy
  Replies (3) Good night (2356) Bad night (1068)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them

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  (218): I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them http://tfl.nu/0wmz
  Replies (4) Good night (2249) Bad night (894)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.

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  (202): well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was. http://tfl.nu/pkp0
  Replies (9) Good night (2105) Bad night (1291)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.

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  (920): She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future. http://tfl.nu/bxh5
  Replies (7) Good night (1484) Bad night (831)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?

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  (904): Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball? http://tfl.nu/6sr3
  Replies (3) Good night (1310) Bad night (620)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.

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  (641): IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS. http://tfl.nu/d7hp
  Replies (17) Good night (2511) Bad night (434)
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  (347): View more from New York

  maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life

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  (347): maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life http://tfl.nu/rmnc
  Replies (4) Good night (471) Bad night (985)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.

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  (304): You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob. http://tfl.nu/lajt
  Replies (17) Good night (500) Bad night (844)

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