i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
