Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (896): View more from

  i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (896): i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself. http://tfl.nu/abgv
  Replies (9) Good night (3558) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser. http://tfl.nu/daye
  Replies (13) Good night (721) Bad night (4684)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/p5hg
  Replies (8) Good night (2213) Bad night (3079)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher http://tfl.nu/npc9
  Replies (21) Good night (1249) Bad night (6638)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good http://tfl.nu/rj3f
  Replies (19) Good night (5529) Bad night (1179)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this? http://tfl.nu/6xbx
  Replies (7) Good night (1773) Bad night (1115)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I cannot believe I said bareback movement...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): I cannot believe I said bareback movement... http://tfl.nu/eax3
  Replies (6) Good night (1497) Bad night (925)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do? http://tfl.nu/1p3s
  Replies (6) Good night (1014) Bad night (1886)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  he is risen halelujah

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ (1-303): he is risen halelujah http://tfl.nu/sbcr
  Replies (6) Good night (1560) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Way to ruin everything

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Way to ruin everything (304): I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid http://tfl.nu/wv46
  Replies (5) Good night (1689) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible. http://tfl.nu/r0ag
  Replies (6) Good night (945) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.

  (1-305): View more from Florida

  Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire. (1-305): Are you fucking a guy or a condo building? http://tfl.nu/f6au
  Replies (4) Good night (1638) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (435): Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus. http://tfl.nu/v0t7
  Replies (6) Good night (621) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos http://tfl.nu/7sym
  Replies (0) Good night (471) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself. http://tfl.nu/uoqa
  Replies (2) Good night (285) Bad night (406)

Randomize