Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"