Texts From Last Night

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  (240): View more from Maryland

  There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  So glad I found your sister.

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  (240): There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find. (443): So glad I found your sister. http://tfl.nu/p3yp
  Replies (36) Good night (10063) Bad night (1460)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans

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  (502): Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans http://tfl.nu/uc1m
  Replies (12) Good night (6523) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen

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  (443): you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen http://tfl.nu/4avg
  Replies (9) Good night (2233) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.

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  (918): In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you. http://tfl.nu/i5hi
  Replies (6) Good night (1994) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed

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  (206): Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed http://tfl.nu/023t
  Replies (1) Good night (1920) Bad night (637)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.

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  (519): No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home. http://tfl.nu/it1o
  Replies (2) Good night (679) Bad night (1608)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?

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  (212): Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help? http://tfl.nu/19hc
  Replies (7) Good night (1826) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.

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  (+44): I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring. http://tfl.nu/y78v
  Replies (8) Good night (715) Bad night (1413)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader

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  (484): Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader http://tfl.nu/1luq
  Replies (6) Good night (1081) Bad night (607)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.

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  (803): Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now. http://tfl.nu/z1h4
  Replies (2) Good night (859) Bad night (572)
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  (949): View more from California

  he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.

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  (949): he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless. http://tfl.nu/m9y7
  Replies (1) Good night (544) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.

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  (760): The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet. http://tfl.nu/760v
  Replies (3) Good night (1246) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies

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  (406): I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies http://tfl.nu/i19i
  Replies (1) Good night (1180) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.

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  (775): Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo. http://tfl.nu/p835
  Replies (1) Good night (454) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?

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  (615): You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass... (931): And you wonder why you're always one of the guys? http://tfl.nu/4fld
  Replies (1) Good night (856) Bad night (373)

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