I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
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I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
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Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in