My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?