Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  brad dismisses pussy with prejudice

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  (248): brad dismisses pussy with prejudice http://tfl.nu/6yt6
  Replies (4) Good night (863) Bad night (1148)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.

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  (703): Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii. http://tfl.nu/5g9i
  Replies (2) Good night (1100) Bad night (594)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.

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  (208): I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to. http://tfl.nu/m80m
  Replies (24) Good night (2203) Bad night (594)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again

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  (906): I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again http://tfl.nu/daze
  Replies (83) Good night (663) Bad night (3231)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.

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  (902): Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life. http://tfl.nu/sk8g
  Replies (33) Good night (475) Bad night (2779)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.

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  (314): so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for. http://tfl.nu/ue3g
  Replies (16) Good night (4104) Bad night (905)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??

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  (201): dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her?? http://tfl.nu/1hfi
  Replies (8) Good night (1081) Bad night (3861)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.

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  (814): if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning. http://tfl.nu/xo3z
  Replies (20) Good night (5117) Bad night (1143)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.

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  (312): My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger. http://tfl.nu/m23s
  Replies (10) Good night (820) Bad night (4797)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer

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  (267): Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer http://tfl.nu/2v54
  Replies (26) Good night (4770) Bad night (1120)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?

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  (973): so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand? http://tfl.nu/8siv
  Replies (7) Good night (1478) Bad night (3098)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey

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  (774): This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey http://tfl.nu/q901
  Replies (10) Good night (1721) Bad night (615)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?

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  (613): Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me? http://tfl.nu/ozdm
  Replies (6) Good night (361) Bad night (719)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?

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  (618): You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming? http://tfl.nu/vj0c
  Replies (3) Good night (478) Bad night (683)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.

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  (224): I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk. http://tfl.nu/qq27
  Replies (1) Good night (330) Bad night (477)

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