i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog