some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
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Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
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I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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