You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I puked a lego.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
They have beer where we have blood.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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