Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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