Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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