nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
