he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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