We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
