She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
