What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
