porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
