Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
