so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
