I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
