this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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