You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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