My sheets look like a crime scene.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
This house was built for laser tag.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
