When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
