Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My feet surprised me
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
