I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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