The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
