i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
