Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
