the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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