Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
