Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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