Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just want to make out with him forever
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
