he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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