is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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