Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
